Positive thinking poll - results

Do you believe having a POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE can help reduce the severity of your UC/Crohn’s or even cure it?

Utter claptrap 13%
It probably helps, but can’t cure it 71%
I’m positive it can cure it 4%
I’m open minded 11%
Surgery is the only cure 0%

Thank you to everyone who voted in the positive thinking poll. It would seem most of us believe that having the right frame of mind is key to dealing with our illnesses. But the idea that we can actually use our minds to cure ourselves was clearly a step too far for most. That’s understandable. That’s how I felt until I received an email from someone who told me how he cured himself of ulcerative colitis. His name is Guy Cohen and he has some very interesting thoughts on UC and how to beat it. Initially I was sceptical and fired off a decidedly cynical reply to his email. Unflustered by my thinly disguised accusation that he may be some sort of internet Dick Turpin preying on the sick, Guy patiently answered my questions and explained a bit more about himself. We pinged a few emails back and forth over the course of the day, and it soon became clear Guy wasn’t recruiting on behalf of a Texan sex cult, and was a genuine, decent sort of chap. Once I’d got over the disappointment of not being groomed by a Texan sex cult, we arranged to talk on the phone later in the week. In the meantime Guy pointed me in the direction of his website, which despite the off putting heavy handed sales schtick, did explain more about Guy’s incredible story. And dispelling once and for all any suspicions I may have had that he was after my money, Guy very kindly gave me all his downloads free of charge. You can read exactly how Guy recovered from UC on his website, but in a nutshell he uses established hypnotherapy techniques to eliminate destructive thinking patterns that he believes can cause ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s and IBS. At this point you may be shouting ‘bollocks’ very loudly at your computer screen. Fair enough. I’m sitting here with a colostomy bag, still very much with UC and I’m supposed to believe that all this could have been avoided if I’d just had happier thoughts? I’m as cynical as the next man, but the more Guy explained how my bad thinking habits affect my stomach, it started to make sense to me. I suddenly became aware of the internal dialogue I have with myself. And it’s not pretty. It’s not quite the ‘You talking to me?’ scene in Taxi Driver, but I now recognise that I spend way too much time and energy having babbling cyclical arguments in my head and playing out ridiculous imaginary scenarios, that are really quite pointless. I’m not a complete fruitcake, but at some point in my life, for whatever reason, I developed thinking habits that aren’t particularly helpful. It makes sense to me that if I can correct the way I think it can only be a good thing. It could make me more positive, happier, healthier. It could cure my UC. I believe it can. After all it worked for Guy. This is the start of a new journey for me and as ever I’ll be recording it here. I understand some people will be dismissive and think I’ve finally lost the plot. That’s okay. I just really want to get better. Over the years nothing has worked for me, from yucky Chinese tea to conventional medicine. Even surgery hasn’t fully rid me of ulcerative colitis. So I’m going to give Guy’s methods a shot. I’ll still be taking all my usual medication and continuing with my hospital treatment, but I’m also going to be putting my faith in something hopefully far more powerful. My mind.

For further information, this is an interview I found with Guy.

Positive thinking poll

The mind is one of the most powerful tools known to man. Perhaps second only to those gadgets you see on the shopping channel that help get the lids off jam jars. So, do you think that it’s possible that thinking positively can have a positive effect on your illness? Can thinking ourselves well make us well? If we believe we can get better, can we? What are your thoughts? The poll is just there on the right. Now try to be positive…

Elisabeth, UC and me

‘It brought us closer together.’

That’s how I voted in the relationship poll.

I met my girlfriend Elisabeth shortly after my first flare up with ulcerative colitis.

Although at the time I didn’t know it was called ulcerative colitis.

I just thought it was a weird-spluttery-shitting-blood-diarrhoea-thing.

I thought it would go away.

So I didn’t mention it to Elisabeth.

In case it made her go away.

A weird-spluttery-shitting-blood-diarrhoea-thing isn’t something you bring up on a date.

I wanted to make a good impression. I wanted her to think I was sexy and funny and clever.

I didn’t think telling her my shit looked like roadkill would help.

So I kept it to myself.

It wasn’t difficult, because most of the time I felt fine.

My symptoms would come and go. It was all very sporadic.

But I do remember when I stayed at Elisabeth’s house, in the mornings I would turn the shower on to drown out the phutt-phutt-splutt-splosh of my bottom exploding.

If Elisabeth or her housemates ever heard anything they were too polite to say.

By the time I was properly diagnosed and I had a name for my weird-spluttery-shitting-blood-diarrhoea-thing Elisabeth and I were boyfriend and girlfriend.

A proper couple.

And proper couples share their troubles.

So we learnt all about UC together.

And as we got to know UC better, we got to know each other better.

Thanks to the noises and smells I produced, Elisabeth perhaps got to know me a bit better than I would have liked.

But she never made me feel embarrassed about anything.

She always said she didn’t mind and encouraged me to be open about it.

She made me feel comfortable talking about, well, poo, mainly.

Colour, consistency, frequency…nothing was off limits.

Nevertheless, I continued to turn the shower on when I went to the loo.

It’s fine talking about it, but she didn’t have to hear everything.

So I know I’m very lucky to have a girlfriend like Elisabeth.

Not only is she patient and understanding, she kind of takes everything in her stride.

She’s unflappable, calm, steady.

I put some of it down to her being German. They’re a practical lot.

As well as being cool-headed, she’s incredibly supportive.

If you go all the way back to my first post on Number Twos you’ll see I had my first comment.

That’s Elisabeth.

She’s been there for me right from the start.


Reading this back I think I should write a post about how having my bag has affected our relationship, so coming soon…Elisabeth, colostomy bags and me.

Relationship poll results and a slightly glib scribble in lieu of something more meaningful that I intend to write once I’ve gathered my thoughts

How has your illness affected your relationship?
It's really put a strain on us: 22%
It's caused us to split up: 2%
It's brought us closer: 29%
It's made no difference: 31%
It's made me avoid relationships: 13%

Relationship poll

Chronic illness doesn’t just affect the person suffering from it. Often it touches those around them as well. Sometimes an illness can make it feel like there are three people in the relationship, instead of two. This poll is about the impact it can have on our relationships. Has being sick altered things between you and your other half? It’s another very personal topic. The poll is just over there on the right.

Many thanks to Sasquatch for inspiring this poll.

Depression poll results

Does your illness cause you to feel depressed?

From time to time: 62%
Every day is a struggle: 6%
Not really: 15%
You’ve been prescribed antidepressants: 4%
You've had suicidal thoughts: 8%
UC doesn't depress me as much as the credit crunch: 2%

Thank you to everyone who took part in the poll about depression.

As I wrote previously it’s an extremely personal subject, so I won’t comment on the actual results of the poll.

I can only really talk about how having UC and now a colostomy bag affects me.

So this is just my take on things.

In the poll I voted ‘Not really’.

Being an ostomate and having an illness doesn’t make me feel depressed.

It irritates me sometimes. It bores me. And frustrates me.

But it doesn’t really get me down.

What I do find is, if I’m having a bad day, having UC and the colostomy bag makes it that bit worse.

For instance, if I’m feeling grumpy, UC and the bag make me 10% grumpier.

If I feel gloomy, UC and the bag make me 10% gloomier.

If I feel like I want to throttle employees of London Underground, UC and the bag make it 10% more likely that an employee of London Underground will be harmed.

When I’m not feeling on top of the world, being sick and having a bag of shit hanging off my tummy doesn’t really help matters.

But if I were to write a list of all the things that get me down, UC and my colostomy bag might not even get into the top 5.

I’m more likely to get depressed about work.

Or unfulfilled ambitions.

Or the state of the country.

Also at the moment I consider myself lucky.

My colostomy bag in no way disables me, it enables me.

Before I had surgery I was very poorly.

Medication wasn’t working. I was pretty much housebound. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t go out. I was in pain. I was weak. And I rarely slept for more than a couple of hours at a time. Whipps Cross Hospital became my second home.

For three months my life was miserable. I was in a sorry old state.

But now I’m kind of fine.

I can go to work, go on holiday, go out, stay up late, sleep all through the night, eat what I like.

I can be a proper boyfriend again.

My life is pretty good.

Of course some mornings I wake up and look down at the bag and my heart sinks a little.

That’s normal, I guess.

Mostly though I just try to deal with things the best I can.

Don’t for one minute think I’m one of those happy-clappy-waggy-tailed-look-on-the-bright-side-of-life-glass-half-full types.

Far from it.

A lot of the time I’m an irascible old sod.

And I’m not without my darker periods.

But that’s just me, the way I am, and nothing to do with UC.