Earplugs. You can get them in any good pharmacy. Essential for a good night's sleep. Unless you particularly want to listen to the agonising squeals of a 72-year-old having a catheter inserted at 3 o’clock in the morning, pop a couple of these little foam lifesavers in your lugholes.
Better than sleeping pills. Just take 2 before bed.
Keep a ready supply of chewing gum handy. After your op brushing your teeth can be exhausting. Chewing gum is a much easier way to keep your mouth feeling fresh. And if you’re vomiting a lot, you’re going to need something to take the taste away. (The same applies to hospital food.)
Make sure you’ve got plenty of change. If you’re unable to make it to the shop, then you’ll have to buy your newspapers, drinks or sweets from the trolley that comes round. They never have enough change. Try to pay with a note and they’ll look at you like you’ve just offered them a hundred trillion Zimbabwean dollars.
"Have you got anything smaller?"
Cut your toenails and fingernails. It doesn’t sound like much, but make sure before your op you give your nails a good trim, because afterwards you won’t feel up to it. I made the mistake of not cutting mine and I ended up with the kind of long creepy fingernails normally associated with strange men who live alone, talk to pigeons and never open their curtains.
Get a haircut before you go into hospital. It’s easier to manage and it’ll just make you feel much better. I didn’t have a haircut and I ended up with the kind of long, greasy, shapeless mane normally associated with strange men who live alone, talk to pigeons and never open their curtains.