"Ah, Debbie, have you got a sec, hun?"
"Sure."
"You’re okay, don’t need the—"
"I was just going to the photocopier."
"You weren’t dashing to the...?"
"Nope, I was definitely going to the photocopier."
"Well, I just wanted to say you have our full support with your ‘thing’ – you know – your funny ‘tummy thing’."
"Thanks, that’s really good of—"
"Aw, you are such a trooper, you really are – a little pooper trooper."
"I’m sorry?"
"Anywaaaay. I had a word with HR about this bug you’ve got—"
"Ulcerative colitis. It’s not a bug."
"I know, shaaaame. Well HR have had a little look at the loos for you and I think you’ll be thrilled with what they’ve done. They really went to town; there’s enough toilet roll to see you through a nuclear winter, air fresheners – I think you can even get Wi-Fi in there now. And I had a word with Keith from building services about getting a window put in so you can release a bit of that trapped wind, but structurally it’s a no can do, I’m afraid. But as luck would have it, it turns out Keith is a member of the TA, and he’s managed to get his hands on a couple of gasmasks. How about that?"
"Gasmasks!"
"I know, isn’t he a star?"
"I’ve got an idea; maybe just to be on the safe side I should take a caged canary into the toilets with me?"
Amanda Tong takes off her starshaped glasses and squints, deep in thought.
"Yes, yes, I can see where you’re coming from. I suppose it would be good for you to have a bit of company in there."
