Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Colonoscopy Week Live! - 11am, Little Bit Hungry Now

A cheese sandwich. What was I thinking? I could’ve had a big juicy steak with creamy mashed potato. Or oven chips. Oven chips were allowed. A big juicy steak with oven chips. And I could’ve made chip butties with thickly sliced soft white bread that soaks up the drooling melted butter. I could’ve had that for my last meal, but no, I decided to have a cheese sandwich. Just a pretty ordinary, run of the mill cheese sanger. Whelks put more imagination into what they’re going to eat than that. As I sit here now banging my head repeatedly on my desk, with hunger gnawing away at me, my belly as empty and cavernous as the world’s largest Mexican restaurant the day after the chef asked, “Does anyone else feel a bit funny or is it just me?” and I think to myself what sort of pillock has a cheese sandwich for his last meal when he could’ve had a sodding steak?