Today I came up with a new game to pass the time whilst crapping in public toilets. I know I’m supposed to be learning German, but I don’t always have the books with me. So anyway, it’s called ‘Guess who’s in the next cubicle’. This was my guess from a visit to the toilets near Great Portland Street tube:
Edek is Polish.
Edek has a job working for the council cleaning graffiti off the walls in public conveniences.
He has a girlfriend called Betsy who paints fingernails in a nail salon.
Betsy has very long nails with shooting stars painted on them.
Edek wishes he could scrub away the shooting stars just like he scrubs away the toilet graffiti.
He and Betsy aren’t getting on.
Today Edek isn’t in the toilet cubicle scrubbing graffitii.
Today is Edek’s day off and he is waiting in the toilet cubicle to meet a man.
Yesterday Edek was removing graffiti when he saw a message scrawled on the wall by someone calling himself Johnny.
The message simply read ‘All I ask of you is please don’t fall in love with me.’ And there was a number to call and the name Johnny.
Edek didn’t call the number straight away but he did store it in his phone.
Edek was intrigued to know who this Johnny was and why he was so confident of someone instantly falling in love with him that he had to pre-warn them not to.
Edek called the number later that night, mainly because Betsy’s fingernails were annoying him.
Edek and Johnny arranged to meet the following day at 2 o’clock.
Edek had thought Johnny had a very nice voice.
The kind of voice he could easily imagine falling in love with.
That was my guess. I could be way wide of the mark, of course. The person in the next cubicle might just have been having a poo, like me.